AND just another day in your world….
Parent: Gentle hands
Child: hits/pokes/scares younger sibling
Parent: Keep your hands to yourself
Child: Misbehaviour continues
Parent: UGH!! I am so mad, how many times do I have to tell you? You don’t listen to me.
Child: Misbehaviour continues and increases
Parent: THAT’s IT!!! Get to your bedroom and think about what you did.
Have you had something similar happen recently? What did you try? How did it turn out? I’m sure it left you asking questions such as will my child always be like this? What am I doing wrong? Will my child ever learn?
I, too, have had these thoughts of self doubt run through my head. I have also let anger, frustrations, even fear and worry take over and I have lost my temper and yelled. I use to say I’m a yeller, which really it’s more accurate that my default coping is to yell. When I yell, after I am feeling shame, guilt and sadness. After all, I am the adult.
What can be done for situations that happen over, and over, and over, and over again? Well this morning, we hit that point. I lost it! I tried distraction and redirection, I tried the 3 B’s to sibling conflict, I tried connection with both children, I tried one words, I tried SOOOO Positive Discipline tools.
After, taking deep breaths which by that I mean a good ugly cry. I was calmer. The kids and I sat around our kitchen island. I explored my feelings of frustration about the sibling conflict. I then asked them what they can do to keep their hands busy. Mr. E, aged 5.5 years old, had answers! Amazing answers. We used them to create a “Wheel of Choice”.
We worked together to create this “Wheel of Choice”. I wrote
the words and he drew the pictures. This process took maybe 20 minutes. We were
able to connect and chat as he drew his pictures.
In Positive Discipline Parenting, we learn many hands on and visual tools. This is just one that we create, use and forget about before needing to bring back this tool. Trust me, when it is hanging on our wall, we are both much more aware of our interactions, intentions and actions.
Because this time in your life should be remembered forever! We help parents get a weekly meaningful outing so they feel healthy, happy and supported in their parenting journey!